Educate yourself to the occasion of a relationship, of a place, of a time, of a local color, of one socio-cultural environment.

Educate yourself because it is done, and that derogating from this obligation can cut you off from social integration, from the ordinary, integration, lucky to have a successful life, of normality.

So I let myself be educated. I used my panty bottoms on the school benches. Obedient, I learned what to do to be like the others, to survive. Come what may, I calmed my impulses in the societal mold. I had wives and children. I have grandchildren. I have house and food. And then I gave myself a hint of originality that makes my personality, narcissizes me just enough not to become a sheep of Panurge.

I built myself in the shadow of my country, a civilized country where social security and retirement pension give me something take advantage of what is known as rest, a deserved tranquility !

In the shade of my tree, i'm waiting for death.

But it turns out that I'm already dead.

I failed to live. I did not surprise life. I did not promulgate it to the rank of risk-taking. I have not traveled. I I did not know the other peoples of the world. The heavy trials have saving. I knew how to keep the suffering within bearable limits. I have read and watched a lot of television and am “aware” to not bad things ! I was nice to people ! I saved myself to live as long as possible and in good enough health !

It is at this point of opacity of my behavior that the Elsewhere appeared to me, like a thunderstorm on a beautiful summer day, in forcing me to look at this something of the order of the intimate and much more that my simple life. And this thing that is outside of time and space catch up by pulling me by the tails : ” hey, Coco, you're not going away go out like this, you have to pay with your person ! “

But who is it? ? Me who me I took for a simple and anonymous lambda individual, would it really be me referred ?

Yes. I am questioned ; they torture me and I confess : ” I am a person “.

A person with a name – not just the name of my national identity card – , a name engraved somewhere in the Universe ; i have a body, a heart, Energy, a psyche, a very soul that confronted with something that I don't quite understand, animates me and summons me to meet this greater than me – and yet who is in me –  , to meet the Surprise, Evidence from elsewhere, some say the Spirit. I am truly a person present ; I am ” Presence ” .

Ciel, I live ! I see and I live ! I do things like walks, I shave, I practice gymnastic, I write poems, I'm cooking, the garden, the chat, pictures with my relatives, I call, I even sing, … and here I am caught up in this feeling of unknown Immensity that surrounds me, by the Mystery and an irrepressible force that pushes me to really be this Being that I am ; the senses, the heart, soul and psyche wide open gathered in my Person and facing the ultimate Adventure.

I have to be accountable, to register at register of the living. I can't spin anymore. An obligation to results catch up with me. To face. Take the next step that will make me Be. Accept. Say yes.

Violent lights streak the dazzling mouth clouds, a cataract of rain stupefies me, the golden orb of a fallen sun boundless skies confuse me. I advance very close to the ultimate cliff. At end of the end.

I am ” Regard “, and …  Your fund …  I dissolve …  I am ” Absence ” …  and,  …  I'm not here anymore.

…

It will be there.

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